Mindfulness

What's mindfulness?

–adjective
attentive, aware, or careful

I feel I no longer know who I am ~ where's the angie I once knew? The LOUD and WACKY one, bordering LOONEY. I thought I was really sharp when I was younger. tongue, thoughts, response, ideas.. anything except for my boobs. No idea if I used to have overinflated ego. I feel that life has not been going the course I want it to be. Then again, I have no idea how I want it to be. However, I am pretty certain on how I want it NOT to be. Geez. This is so complex. Can I do a MSE on myself?

Sigh, I know I should not be harping on the past. Ever since I entered med school, life has been really rocky. Till today, I am still carrying my emotional baggage of regrets and guilt. It's pathetic to have miserable self-esteem with excessive self-doubt. What good are such thoughts? It makes life more insecure than it already is. How am I to run any race with such burden. Being less than mindful is dangerous. What's the point of thinking about the what-ifs and could've beens. Afterall, I was the one who made the decisions. There's no one else to blame except for myself.

God has been good to me so far.
Time to re-count His blessings. It's definitely way more than what I can ask for.