A Strange Story

Is it true that it's difficult for a guy and a girl to be friends? March 06, I met someone from my usual playground. It's funny how we met because he knew what I was trying to do and in fact 'helped' me into doing it. I had no idea how it developed and we somehow ended up doing lunch. We met often. Perhaps I was kind of lonely with life and wanted to be with someone different for a change. One day, he took my hand. I did not let go because I felt kind of secured to be with him. But after that, the sudden thought of 'n-g... stop it.. what the hell are you thinking.. please.. use your brain..' and I quickly stopped all reciprocal actions.

I had no confidence in the relationship because I knew my parents would not approve of it. I had very strong stand that I no longer wanted to stem worries in my parents. On the other hand, I thought I would miss the companionship if I were to tell him that I was not ready for the relationship. Also, at then I had no idea if I truly liked him. I tried to forget him but it took lots of courage. Then again, he sort of understood. He said I would be better off without him as I was going to have a bright future awaiting for me. Had no idea but we sort of distant ourselves from each other.

A couple of months later, he drove me up the wall by meddling with my affairs. I was dead furious with what he did. He said whatever he did was for my own good which was still very much in doubt, till today. I was just trying to be a bitch by stirring some trouble on behalf of someone else. Anyway only God knows why he did it. We kept very superficial contact as he said it was time for him to move on and I guess I should not be playing with fire which I never thought was fire in the first place.

January 07, I met up with him during my overnight trip to Singapore. He was still as gentleman as he was. In fact he even paid for the dinner we had with my friends. I put up a night at his place (Let me make this clear: Nothing happened in case you are thinking of something raunchy..) Maybe, he was just another friend and according to my natal chart, friends come and go easily which I found it pretty true. We kinda stopped keeping in touch after my departure and recently, I deleted him off my MSN. I thought it was time to move on with the hope of 'out of sight, out of mind.' At times, I ponder if my action was right or my decisions were justified. But knowing how things could not change, I guess it was time to let go rather than kindling to memories of the what ifs and could've beens.

I've come to a point that I've given up on relationships. Perhaps the lady who read the Tong Shu was right. I should focus more on my studies and build a good career. Afterall, it is going to be more rewarding than investing in relationships which I think I have tried hard enough throughout my life. She was right again. The Y chromosomes are difficult to understand and most of them are up to no good. It just takes forever to know them. With comfortable earning, I guess living a simple yet meaningful life will not be a problem.

xxox